Cambodia Calling: World War II by Urban Dictionary

Thursday, July 23, 2009

World War II by Urban Dictionary

"A surprisingly accurate description of WWII (urbandictionary.com)". Brilliant. Thanks to notyavgkat for adding to reddit.com:

Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
"Some of the World War II guys in 'Call of Duty' have, like, foreign accents... what's up with that?"

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THE BLOOM MANIFESTO

1. We believe in the right of all people to a decent life, free of poverty and with access to education

2. We believe you will be enriched helping the poor

3. We believe women hold up half the sky

4. We believe workers should always be paid a fair wage

5. We believe if you knew the truth, you would not be an accessory to the exploitation of workers

6. We believe exploitation is evil

7. We believe in the power of good over evil

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11. We believe in love at first sight - at least where our bags are concerned!

12. We believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of handbags!

WHAT IS A SOCIAL ENTERPRISE?

A social enterprise has as its central objective, a social or environmental purpose, and not the obsession with profits. Yes, of course we want to be profitable, but it is so we can hire even more people in unfortunate circumstances, and offer them a shot at a better life, and not because we want to "increase shareholder value" or for the sake of lining our personal pockets. In fact, the only foreign staff (and founder/funder) does not get a salary from Bloom.

At Bloom, our mission is to alleviate poverty and save the environment at the same time, through our recycled bags.

As a social enterprise in Cambodia, we are competing with many NGOs on the one hand (which get donations) and for want of a better word, capitalistic businesses (which drive down costs in an effort to maximise profits). We recognise and accept the challenges that face all business, but are committed to principles of Fair Play, and will NEVER sacrifice those principles in order to be competitive. This means, for instance, we will never sacrifice workers' pay just so our bags will be cheaper. The average pay at Bloom today is 2.13 times the market rate.

So please, before you ask us to discount our bags, remember that we are not a minimum wage factory; we are a social enterprise. If you want a cheap factory-made bag, Bloom is not what you are looking for. If you agree that workers (where-ever they are--Singapore, Germany, France, the US) should always be paid fairly and are not here to produce goods and services at low wages for the profit of big business, then please consider Bloom. Bloom bags are all hand-made by our small team who spend our working hours dreaming up and making bags.

All Bloom profits go to our Khmer staff and to growing Bloom. Ultimately the aim is for Bloom to be a workers' cooperative, where workers own, manage, grow the business and share the profits.

WHO WE ARE

Bloom is a social enterprise established in Sept 2006 with the intention of providing fair-paying jobs to abandoned, widowed and divorced Cambodian women. Bloom is not a factory. We are a small workshop of nine people who work closely as a team to produce original, quality handmade bags made from recycled rice and fish feed bags.

Every Bloom Bag is meticulously designed, cut, glued and sewn by the Bloom team in our workshop in Phnom Penh. Each bag is handmade with love and attention to detail (the Bloom team really enjoys making bags!), resulting in beautiful, unique bags we are sure you will love and your friends will want!

All Bloom Bags are handmade by our team. We do not outsource to other sewers because we want to be in control of the supply chain, to ensure that everyone involved in making a Bloom Bag is paid fairly. There is no middleman taking a cut and passing on the work to another.

Please Visit Bloom's new workshop off Norodom Boulevard in Phnom Penh and our retail outlets. Bloom is next to Warehouse Pub in the Old Market Area in Siem Reap and at No.808 Russian Market, Phnom Penh.