Hey, how you doing? Good to hear.
So, we've been Facebook pals for a few months now. When I first saw your friend request, I smiled, because to be honest, I hadn't thought of you in years. Then I realized why that was: I haven't seen you since we were 10. Just in case math is not your forte, that is 30 years ago. To drive that point obnoxiously home, I have spent roughly 3/4 of my life not thinking about you. Still, when I saw the request, I chuckled and felt all nostalgicaly, and said yes. I've looked at your pictures (you and your family have a very All-American vibe), read your status updates and perused your essays. Therein lie the problem.
Look, there's no easy way to say this, and I'm not a beat-around-the-bush kind of guy, so I'm going to take the BandAid approach and just rip this fucker off: We can't be friends anymore, because, you sir, are insane.
Sure, that may seem like an overstatement on my part. I could play the whole "it's not you, it's me" card, but I won't. Because it's not me, it's you. It's clearly you. Hooboy, is it ever you. To put it bluntly, you, my friend, are one cashew short of being completly nuts.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Facebook Unfriends, Forever!
This blog post on salon.com is hilarious. I confess, I have un-friended people on Facebook for similar reasons.